“I am a Mom, I am a Human, and I want my kids to know that!”
In the beginning of this year, I felt proud of myself, because I have grown so much especially since I have my baby. I felt like a Superhero who beats villain and make sure that everyone is safe.
On January 2023, I left my five-year job to be a stay at home mom. Few weeks after that, my hubby got infected with dengue fever for 2 weeks straight, I took care of him at the hospital while taking care of my six-month old baby who just started to eat solid. Then, as my hubby recovered, he left us for five weeks to do his duty as an engineer, and I had to take care of the house and my baby all by myself.
In the first three weeks, I felt like a Superhero. Every morning I wake up, clean up the house, prepare for our breakfast, take a shower and teach Baby D different new things. I let Baby D play and create a giant mess, eat by herself on her baby chair, and enjoy her time exploring. Every night, I make sure to clean up the house, write my blog, and do all the chores that I haven’t done yet.
I was so proud of myself and thought that I nailed it and have become one of those Super-mommies.
Unexpectedly, by the third week, I started to mess things up, Baby D accidentally cut her lip and tongue while playing with my bottle drink. The next day, she fell from the bed. Thereafter, she had a three-day fever due to the flu shot, and she also had bad flu for about two weeks (due to the flu shot as well).
I lost sleep, didn’t shower, grew some grey hair, got dandruff, had a flu, and bled from my period. Couldn’t it be worst?
I felt terrible, felt like a failure seeing how messy I was and how messy the whole house was! I got mad at my brother, even at my dog who pooped around the backyard. It felt like the more I complain, the worst the situation was.
As a mom we sometimes feel that we should just ‘suck it up’ and continue being a Supermom all the time. So, I pushed myself to cook three meals a day for my baby, and do all the chores as usual while carrying my sick baby around the house. I didn’t realized that it just made my body and mind went overly tired. The worst part was when someone pushed my hot buttons I became furious, sad and frustrated at the same time. Instead of being a supermom, I became like a moody monster to my closest ones.
Nowadays, I come to realization that it’s totally fine to take it easy when things get rough. It’s okay to give my baby instant-baby-food or to order some ready-to-eat baby food when my baby is sick and when I got no helping hand. It’s okay to allow myself to sleep longer, treat myself some good food, meet my best friends, and have some ‘me’ time to do things that I like. It’s really important so I can always refresh my mind and my energy.
Finally, all I wanted to say is to never forget to enjoy every little things, and don’t ever feel ashamed to ask for help. Because you are and I am a human too. You can feel stressed out, tired, bored, exhausted, angry, lazy, and so on. Of course, I will let my kids know this side of me too. But hell yeah, I am still a supermom for my loved ones.
Bless This Mess 