Bless This Mess

I had a job in one of the biggest copper and gold mining companies. I worked as a Leadership Trainer, and I was responsible to deliver leadership and personal development trainings to all employees in that company.

After about five years of hard working and hard learning, I finally decided to resign 5 months ago. The reasons for my resignation were because of conflicting priorities between work and family.

As a trainer, I was expected to work full time in various areas, and actively involved in many community events. At the same time, my baby needed my attention even more.

At the end, I decided to quit my job and to first focus with my baby and my new little family.

Up until now, I am still adapting. Life as a trainer and as a stay at home mom are indeed different.

I used to meet bunch of people with different backgrounds. Now, I spent most of the time with only me and my baby.

I used to be called ‘Ibu Icha’ or ‘Madam Icha’ in English. Now, people liked to call me ‘Damhali’s Mommy’ or sometimes calling me with my husband’s last name.

People used to call me asking about the trainings, how to level up their career, the modules they needed, or sometimes even about their problems at work. Now, all the questions are basically about my daughter, Damhali. How is she doing? What did she eat today? Is she reaching all of her milestones?

I used to be known and seen as an expert at work, now I am seen as an amateur. People liked to tell me what should I do as a mom? How do I have to raise my kid? What food should I give my baby?

Sometimes I missed being in a crowded room full of people, but hell no, right now, I love being in quiet places with less people. As a mom, being in a crowded room sometimes drive me crazy. Seeing my baby becomes overstimulated, plus receiving all of the critics and unsolicited advice about how to raise my baby is such a hell for me.

Yeah, I am still adapting and trying to love my new role as a mom. Everyday is a new learning experience.